Lately, I’ve been reading through the beginning of the Old Testament, an unexpected source of comfort and inspiration if you are walking through a difficult phase or journey. What could be harder than an entire civilization packing up their homes and families and herds to cross a perilous wilderness? On a good day, I have enough trouble packing up my kids to catch the school bus. Snacks? McDonald’s money for away basketball games? Who has time? And we are not usually being pursued by an angry army in chariots.
While taking kids to the pediatrician for a check-up, I glimpsed a poster hanging on the wall. “Don’t let yesterday use up too much of today—Will Rogers.” I often find myself contemplating some part of my past that I wish I had handled differently – a difficult relationship, a financial decision, taking better care of my health. The truth is, that no matter how much I might wish to change the past, God has only given me the ability to change today.
Why bother writing at all? The vulnerability and risk and effort felt like too much, especially with Mom no longer here to encourage me. I wanted to quit, to turn in my author badge and raise chickens or maybe grow tomatoes—something with a more predictable harvest. Have you ever felt like that? Like nothing you do really matters?